The fifth episode of season two of The Mighty Boosh is titled “The Legend of Old Gregg.” Paul King was the show’s director, while Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding wrote the script, which premiered on BBC Three on August 23, 2005.
Old Gregg (Noel Fielding) is a strange, murderous, hermaphroditic merman creature that lives at the bottom of Black Lake. Any fishermen sailing in his waters on a full moon are abducted. Some claim he is half-man, half-fish. However, as local fisherman Lucien (Barratt) puts it, “Whatever the proportion, he’s one fishy bastard.”
1. “Wanna come to a club where people wee on each other?”
Howard is being invited to a club by Gregg. Gregg wants to invite people to a club in this quote, and by the club, he means a place where people become intoxicated and lose all awareness of what they are doing.
2. “Come on, don’t make me beg now, ’cause I’m not your regular guy! Don’t be shy! Do you love me?”
In this quote, Gregg is stating that he is not a typical guy who will wait for the other person or grovel for their time and attention. Thus the other person shouldn’t be afraid to speak their mind without holding back.
3. “I know what you’re thinking, ‘Here comes Old Gregg. He’s a scaly man-fish.’ You don’t know me. You don’t know what I got. I got something to show you. Do you know what that is? That’s Old Gregg’s v*gina. I’ve got a mangina! I’m Old Gregg!”
In this quotation, Gregg describes himself to Howard as a scaly man fish, indicating that he is a bipedal fish who dwells underwater. Although he has a mangina, Old Gregg seems to identify as a man as he uses the pronoun he\him\his. He also appears to be gender non-conforming, with an eye for feminine fashion as he used to wear a silver jacket, pink skirt, and facial makeup. He has seaweed hair and webbed fingers. The bright light which emerges from Old Gregg’s mangina has a hypnotic effect on Howard Moon.
4. “You’re like a breadstick, and ya got no rhythm!” – Old Gregg.
Gregg compares the other person in this quote to a breadstick that lacks rhythm, much like the drumsticks that are used to play the drums and create music with rhythm and melody.
5. “We could do some watercolors together, You and I.”
Gregg asks Howard to paint with him in this quote, indicating that he wants to spend time with him since he has been lonely for a very long time and thinks Howard is attractive.
6. “Could you learn to love me?”
Gregg is asking Howard if he could ever love him because Gregg loves him and wants him to feel the same way about him. Howard disagrees because he believes that love does not happen that way. After all, in a relationship, it is important to get to know and understand each other, and it should not be forced but with the consent of both the people involved.
7. “I took Home Economics, and I got an A+. I did a crumble. The teacher said mine was the best one.”
This quote discusses Greg’s early life with little indication of his origin. Because he acknowledged that he achieved an A+ in the secondary school subject of home economics by baking a crumble, a dessert with a crumb topping made from flour, butter, and sugar sprinkled over sliced fruit and then baked. From this, we can assume that he had a partially normal childhood.
8. “Do you like Old Gregg’s place? I’ve got all good things.”
Gregg refers to his home in this quotation; he resides in a subaquatic cave known as Gregg’s Place. A cocktail bar with creamy Bailley’s and miniature disco lights are also found inside the cave.
9. “I do watercolors.”
Gregg likes to paint with watercolors, focusing on himself and using alcoholic beverages. Bailey’s was a recurring topic in his work, and he also created one painting that showed Gregg in a seated position and another in a comical pose with one hand on his forehead. The third piece is a self-portrait that focuses solely on the face.
10. “I’m Old Gregg. Pleased to meet you.”
In this quote, Gregg introduces himself to Howard Moon as he is pulled out of his dwelling, a deep cavern beneath the black lake.
11. “You must love me exactly as I love you.”
As we can see, Gregg is a very lonely person. Thus he is picturing being loved with tenderness and care in the same way that he loves other people in this quote.
12. “Maybe I should ask you the same question—what are you doing in my waters?”
Gregg questions Howard in this quote about what he is doing in the water on the whole moon night as Howard is fishing by himself on the black lake when Gregg first sees him.
13. “Make an assessment.”
Gregg asks Howard in this statement what he thinks of him. Howard is confused and responds that he is unsure, but Gregg instructs him to form an assessment about him. Howard then states that he believes Gregg to be a pleasant, modern guy.
14. “I’m gonna hurt you.”
Gregg, in this quote, is telling Howard that he will hurt him when he finds Howard in the waters. He says this when Howard refuses to go to a club with him because Gregg wants to spend time with him, and he also confesses that he likes Howard.
15. “You do love me.”
In this quote, Gregg is telling Howard again and again that Howard loves him even when he denies it. Gregg is desperate for love and not ready to accept that Howard is not in love with him. He says you love me, and you know me. I am Old Gregg, and Howard accepts he knows him as he has told Howard the same thing 89 times. Throughout the whole scene, Gregg seems to be a very persistent, repetitive, and mad man.
16. “Maybe I’ll deal with it the way I dealt with Curly Jefferson.”
Gregg is threatening Howard in this quotation by saying that if he rejects his proposal, the situation will turn out like Mr. Curly Jefferson, who was mounted like a fish trophy and displayed on his cave wall.
17. “Gregg’s place. You’ve been asleep. Do you want a little drinky? I’ll get you a drink. Do you like Bailey’s? Mmmm—creamy. Soft, creamy beige.”
In this quote, Gregg asks Howard if he wants a drink and is trying to comfort him in his home. Despite his quirks, he seems to be a friendly, kind and caring, and compassionate individual.
18. “You know me, hmm? What about the boat times?”
In this quote, Gregg refers to the moment when they met for the first time when Howard Moon pulled him up on the boat with his fishing hook while he was fishing alone on the whole moon night in the black lake. Gregg considers it to be a date rather than the first absurd meeting.
19. “That was our first date, hmm? You pulled me up with your strong arms!
Gregg referred to the first time he met Howard Moon in this quote. He considers their first encounter date and recalls when he used a hook to haul Gregg onto the boat, but for Gregg, he is equating the turn with Moon’s powerful arms. This demonstrates his feminine side and his genuine desire for love.
20. “What do you mean?”
When Howard informs Gregg that he will visit him the following week to paint with him, Gregg asks him this question. Gregg is perplexed and inquires why he can’t stay the same day and paint with him because he does not comprehend that the other person may be busy and have other things to do and because he is lonely, has nothing to do, and craves company terribly.
21. “Do you love me? Are you playin’ your love games with me? I want to know what to do because I need your love. Oh, come on now.”
This quote shows that Gregg is hungry for love and wants Howard to love him back, to stay, to do watercolors with him whenever he wants to, and be with him and stay with him in the deep cavern in the black lake.
22. “Oh, you know me. You’ve seen my downstairs mix-up.”
Gregg tells Howard Moon in this passage that he is familiar with him since he has observed his mangina-like reality. Howard is still not attracted to Gregg despite knowing the truth about him, but he nonetheless consents to marry him in exchange for saving his life and being with him.
23. “I like you. What do you think of me?”
Whether “love” or “like,” both feelings are universal and are felt by practically everyone. Loving someone entails a deeper level of affection for them as opposed to simply agreeing with them or finding them pleasing. Although it is almost likely that you love someone, it is not always true that you love someone you like.
24. “You’re like a breadstick, ya got no rhythm!”
The tedium of human existence never ceased to astound me. There was nothing intriguing about their feelings, ideas, or even daily lives. That’s why I made the decision to make finding intriguing people my life’s work.
25. “What did it mean to you to see that? Did it mean you love me?”
Gregg keeps reminding Howard in this passage that despite his denials, he still loves him. Gregg is in need of affection and is unable to accept Howard’s lack of feelings for him. You know me and you adore me, he claims. I’m Old Gregg, and Howard recognizes me because I’ve said the same thing to him 89 times. Gregg appears to be a highly relentless, monotonous, and insane man the entire time.
26. “You love me, and you’ve seen me, and you know me. I’m Old Gregg!”
This quote is focusing how the definition of love is different for everyone. Love can be easily seen is the eyes. Intimacy, passion, and commitment define love as a set of feelings and actions. It entails tenderness, proximity, safety, attraction, affection, and trust. The depth and consistency of love might fluctuate throughout time.
27.”Oh, you know me. You’ve seen my downstairs mix-up”
Seeing every phase of the person, understanding it and loving them is the best feeling ever.