70 scenes of Halloween is a book written by Jeffrey M. Jones, which was later adapted into a play directed by Christopher Herold. The theme of the play revolves around fear, along with some comic relief. The story is about a couple who are determined to spend their Halloween resting on the couch. Soon their mundane life is confronted with dark forces. The young couple, Jeff and Joan contend with ghosts, witches and beasts banging on their windows, wafting through their rooms, and wielding butcher knives.
The underlying theme of this play is marriage. The same old love story where two persons love each other, but the desire to spend the rest of their life with them completely dies. There is communication between them, but no one is willing to listen to what the other person has to say.
And what happens when two people who love each other cannot make their relationship work? A third person enters into their life, and in this case, the husband has an affair with another woman. On the other hand, Joan is hurt and angry about her husband’s behavior.
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The intriguing point that makes this play completely different from the rest of the others is that it uncovers the monsters hidden beneath our skin. Men who are grotesque and predatory turn into wolves and women who are manipulative and dangerous turn into witches. When they do not hold the form of the monsters they turn into ghosts, haunting the house.
The turbulent tale is told in 70 brief scenes played out of order, resulting in a wild, dreamlike ride. One minute, the couple is greeting trick-or-treaters, and the next, they are succumbing to inner demons. Husbands become wolves, and wives become phantoms in a haunted home that offers a weirdly comical and thought-provoking glimpse into the nature of relationships.
And if you’re still curious about the story then here is the list of some of the best quotes from the book 70 scenes of Halloween that will leave you entertained.
All-time best quotes from 70 scenes of Halloween by Jeffrey M. Jones
1. “I don’t want to have to go digging around for it. I’m not begging for it.” – Joan
In the seventh scene of the play, Jeff and Joan are having a conversation after their love-making session. Joan speaks about her feelings about how she was abandoned by her past lover who used to shut her out all the time (you know what it means). From their, she learnt to keep her mouth closed regarding her desires. If you have ever been abandoned, you surely know how it feels, right? She wants her partner to feel excited about her just the same way she feels about him, she doesn’t want to go around and beg for it.
2. “And then suddenly, as quickly as they had come, they disappeared into the darkness that spawned them.” – Jeff
In the eighth scene of the play, Joan is watching the TV and Jeff enters the room after answering the doorbell. Joan casually asks him who was there at the front door, to which Jeff gives her an answer in a very dramatic way. It is Halloween, and obviously, there will be children knocking on each door asking for candies. Jeff describes the children as midgets whom he offered a lot and lots of sugary substances. Finally, when their hunger was satiated, they quickly disappeared into the darkness (I hope you understood the pun here).
3. “Don’t let them in, don’t let them smell it.” – Jeff
In the seventh scene of the play, Jeff is watching the TV and takes a joint and lights it. Do you know what a joint is? If not, then you’re still naive. ‘Consumption of tobacco is injurious to health’ we all have read this warning in our life. In some cases, the consumption of drugs or any other substances is not only injurious but also illegal as well. In some parts of the world, smoking marijuana is illegal. As someone rings the doorbell, Jeff starts to act a little bit paranoid. No one wants unnecessary troubles in their life.
4. “That’s not what I am asking you, Joan. I’m asking if you want me to go get it, and you do, right?” – Jeff
In the twentieth scene of the play, Jeff and Joan are watching the TV, and someone rings the doorbell. It’s Halloween, and you have to prepare yourself to answer the doorbell every now and then. Just as you feel that you have the time to relax, you will find someone ringing the doorbell again. It is tiresome work but what is even more tiring and frustrating is passive-aggressive arguments. Each time someone rings the doorbell, Joan gets to answer them, and naturally, she expects Jeff to answer it sometime as well. Jeff isn’t fond of answering the doorbell either, but if asked, he would do it. The lack of proper communication leads them to a passive-aggressive argument.
5. “Because your love is like a jail.” – Jeff
In the twenty-second scene, Joan is watching the TV, and Jeff appears from the closet screaming in rage. Here Jeff rants out about his frustration about his relationship with Joan. Jeff also screams out about his affair which he is not ashamed to share with Joan. On the other hand, Joan is hurt by Jeff’s behavior. The scenario depicts the state of their relationship, which is dying out with each passing second. The are locked inside the cage of love. No one is happy, and all they can wish for is to get out of it.
6. “Do we have any Kandy korn?” – Jeff
In the very first scene, we can see Jeff asking about Kandy Korn (a kind of sweet substance) to his wife, Joan. During the Halloween season, every household must stock up on some packets of sugary substances as they need to give away all those chocolates to the little visitors that would knock up on their door. While you may think Jeff is a considerate person, in reality, he was asking for himself.
7. “Its getting kind of moist in here.” –Joan
Not only is it customary to treat every child who knocks at your door, but at the same time, one must dress as they want. Halloween is the time when one can pretend to be anything or anyone without offending any person. Jeff is dressed as a Beast, while Joan is dressed as a witch. Both of them are watching TV, completely unaware of the fact that they are being watched by the real-life beast and witch. The monsters try to greet them, but they are completely ignored by the couple.
8. “Pretend they are not there.” – Jeff
The monsters want to meet the couple. They stand nearby the window, waving at them, shouting ‘Trick or Treat while the couple continues to ignore them. It seems by now that the couple is aware of their presence, or they think it is some kind of childish trick. Both of them decide to ignore it. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
9. “I’m going to kill those motherfuckers.” – Jeff
As the monsters continue to irritate them, Jeff grows impatient. He is filled with rage, and when he cannot suppress it further, he jumps from the chair and runs towards the door, giving a cue to the troublemakers to run away. As he looks out, he cannot find anyone out there.
10. “Found this box out on the porch.” – Jeff
Jeff seems to be in s trouble as he finds a shoe box outside his porch. There is no address written on it. Just a shoe box is lying on the ground. Both of them are curious about the box. Jeff shakes it but doesn’t feel anything inside. He opens the box and to both of their surprise, the box is completely empty. There’s nothing in there. They find it really weird and bizarre as well.
That was all about it. I hope you have enjoyed reading it, and if you feel that you need to know more about the story, then don’t waste your time and read it. You’ll surely enjoy each and every scene of the play. The play is hilarious as well, as it showcases our real hidden monsters. We all are capable of turning ourselves into heinous monsters. Be careful about the decisions in your life.
About the author
Jeffrey M. Jones is the author of 70 Scenes Of Halloween, Night coil, and A Man’s Best Friend; a series of collage plays Der Inka Von Peru, Tomorrow land, and Wipe-out; a series of “Crazy Plays”: Stone Monkey Banished (an adaptation of Monkey for Ralph Lee).
12 Brothers (an adaptation of the Grimm Brothers’ tale, with Camila Jones); and two musicals: Write If You Get Work (score: Dan Moses Schreier) and J.P. Morgan Saves the Nation (score: Jonathan Larson). His plays are published by Broadway Play Publishing, Playscripts, Inc., and Sun & Moon Press. Mr. Jones also is co-curator of the OBIE-winning Little Theatre series and holds an annual Pataphysics workshop at the Flea.